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God’s Plan

March 8, 2018 - Heart matters, Reflections
God’s Plan

I am sitted at the door
Yet again, where I have been driven away
Not twice but more
This damp rag my only possession
Its sole purpose to free me of all exhaustion
The cold bites at my skin
Poor me, I know no next of kin
And for the umpteenth time my tummy grumbles
like how the thunder rumbles
In time of rain
Hey, if this is God’s plan for me, then so be it

I sit at this so not familiar atmosphere
Pondering over my situation
Nothing has ever changed
Everything is just as void
vacuous stomach
vacuous dreams
vacuous past
vacuous future
Oh, this void life
But if this is God’s plan for me, then so be it

Instead I convey a mind full of negativity
An adverse attitude- I don’t care
I don’t care whether time flies or nah
I don’t care if I see tomorrow or nah
I don’t even breath because I want to
I breath because I must
I don’t breath to live my moment
I breath to pass time
Hey, if this is God’s plan for me, then so be it

I can’t walk straight
I can’t pretend to be oblivious of the sadistic glares
The angry glances
The sneers and jeers
The judging looks from the ‘saints’
To them I can never be one of them
To them I am just a rogue
Hey, if this is God’s plan for me, then so be it

Exposed to all insecurities
My soul filled with blemish
I witness all society’s impurities
Emotional instability claws at my well-being
I know no peace I am psychologically disturbed
Like a double edged sword
It stabs me right through my chest
But, if this is God’s plan for me, then so be it

I hate to see that I still breath
I hate it that I live another day
For I have nothing to live for
Furthermore my life has no meaning
I wake up to the same old crap
Pain, anger, depression, anxiety, loneliness
And at times, even contemplating suicide
Going through my insecurities once again
Hey, if this is God’s plan for me, then so be it

By Chantelle Kyendereta | Facebook

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